I recently left my decent paying job for a job where most days I get to stand in the river. I also spend many nights worrying about money when in fact my favorite thing is sitting in the creek. I get paid to stand in the river but I still worry about money. Anyways, your writing is beautiful as always and never fails to make me feel less alone. See you in DC!!
Thank you for putting words to our parallel journeys. You were right that the Brick doesn’t bring easy peace, but forces you to sit in your emotions. Weed gives me permission to feel awe and create, but I’m also terrified of inheriting my mother’s psychosis. Anyways, see you in Burlington!
"weed started to make me feel like my friends could see into the depths of my soul, which they found to be impossibly, almost hilariously barren, and also that I was peeing myself in public." Real
I’m sorry to leave unsolicited medical advice but as someone with carpal tunnel syndrome …. I think you have many symptoms of it 😦 it is nerve damage I fear but w/ accommodations (good ergonomics, physiotherapy, Chinese medicine) flare ups can be quite rare ❤️
as someone who suffers from a rare genetic condition (chronic pain being one of the symptoms), i read a lot about the subject. there's a poetry in this that translates the experience of faith and disbelief and losing things you never thought you'd lose. i love your writing, and i am so sorry you have to experience this, and i am also grateful for you words, and i also hate the fact that you have to feel the pain. anyway, playing your music while reading your newsletter has become one of my favorite things. please keep creating <3
“My favorite thing is sitting in the creek” - I read this both to mean, you sitting in the creek, and; your favorite thing is natural water. This is one of my favorite pieces as of late, funny and incisive and contemplative and honest, thank you and please please keep writing :)
Hey just want to say I also have a mom who experienced psychosis and have a debilitating fear of it happening to me and as such a complicated and anxious relationship to weed!! Nothing more to say here just solidarity
I recently left my decent paying job for a job where most days I get to stand in the river. I also spend many nights worrying about money when in fact my favorite thing is sitting in the creek. I get paid to stand in the river but I still worry about money. Anyways, your writing is beautiful as always and never fails to make me feel less alone. See you in DC!!
What do you do to stand in the river?
I do research in conservation biology! I collect and test water samples to detect native fish and mussel species with environmental DNA (eDNA).
i love dividing it up with pluses…..very symbolically beautiful
Thank you for putting words to our parallel journeys. You were right that the Brick doesn’t bring easy peace, but forces you to sit in your emotions. Weed gives me permission to feel awe and create, but I’m also terrified of inheriting my mother’s psychosis. Anyways, see you in Burlington!
“When there is nothing to think of, pain contemplates” that self destructive itch, the brain hurting itself just to know it’s alive
"weed started to make me feel like my friends could see into the depths of my soul, which they found to be impossibly, almost hilariously barren, and also that I was peeing myself in public." Real
I’m sorry to leave unsolicited medical advice but as someone with carpal tunnel syndrome …. I think you have many symptoms of it 😦 it is nerve damage I fear but w/ accommodations (good ergonomics, physiotherapy, Chinese medicine) flare ups can be quite rare ❤️
your writing is starting to remind me of Gillian Rose. From a girl on her laptop in bed
as someone who suffers from a rare genetic condition (chronic pain being one of the symptoms), i read a lot about the subject. there's a poetry in this that translates the experience of faith and disbelief and losing things you never thought you'd lose. i love your writing, and i am so sorry you have to experience this, and i am also grateful for you words, and i also hate the fact that you have to feel the pain. anyway, playing your music while reading your newsletter has become one of my favorite things. please keep creating <3
Just wanted you to know what I completed disengaged after reading the line about grenade going off in Vietnam. American (?) are weird as hell
“My favorite thing is sitting in the creek” - I read this both to mean, you sitting in the creek, and; your favorite thing is natural water. This is one of my favorite pieces as of late, funny and incisive and contemplative and honest, thank you and please please keep writing :)
you make the messy, confusing experiences of pain, fear, and self-discovery feel tangible and honest <3
my numbness is always on my left side and I am not sure if I want to contemplate what that means about my past lives
Read State of Grace by Joy Williams. Thank you for the words. I feel sort of better.
Hey just want to say I also have a mom who experienced psychosis and have a debilitating fear of it happening to me and as such a complicated and anxious relationship to weed!! Nothing more to say here just solidarity
This is so beautiful Eliza. You have such a way with words.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing 💛