27 Comments
User's avatar
Jensen McRae's avatar

This could not possibly have come at a better time for me. I've literally spent the last 24 hours wishing I could take a break from being myself somehow...reading this gave me such a lovely perspective shift. I always love your writing so much, Eliza!

Expand full comment
kaylah dawson's avatar

i have a good feeling about you and you, seems like a good pairing :)

Expand full comment
ella's avatar

SOBBING you are a beautiful writer

Expand full comment
Joelle's avatar

I have moments where it all clicks, and I feel so grateful to be who I am and where I am. It doesn’t usually happen accidentally!! I feel grateful to read this on a night when I randomly to pull out my record player and make myself a nice dinner. Here’s to a great new year with ourselves!!

Expand full comment
Justin Knoll's avatar

girl got me crying on the futon

Expand full comment
caronahill's avatar

I do this all the time! It started out as a practice when I was a lonely teenager with no friends; I had no one to go to the movies with, so I went myself! Now as an adult with many loving friends it is something that is terrific fun and affirming that I am the person I’m gonna spend my whole life with and I love it. I especially love going to the movies alone - it’s a great time to be in a dark, “quiet” environment where you can process big thoughts and make inside jokes with yourself.

Expand full comment
Piper Summer's avatar

I’m glad I’m not the only one who takes myself on dates and also gets weird comments from managers about it

Expand full comment
J dog's avatar

Being in a relationship makes me forget all the important work I've done over the past few years on being alone and accepting that. And being okay with being alone. Thanks for this post, beautiful prose

Expand full comment
sarah's avatar

This is so beautiful and brings to words so many thoughts I’ve had.

As someone dating a touring musician while having a very normal but demanding job (preschool teacher), I’ve found self dates critical to feeling embodied in myself, something I learned to suppress for so long out of necessity to survive my circumstances. Showing myself the love and care and attention I give to others is vital. :-)

Expand full comment
Carole Kupper's avatar

Finding myself in the same situation, spending all day everyday with myself but there is always a background task running. There is something so special about taking yourself on a date, loved that reminder!

Expand full comment
LJ's avatar

brought me to tears. so powerfully true and necessary and so beautifully written. you ARE special!!!

Expand full comment
scg's avatar

working remote in a new city, I feel like I’m spending so much time by myself that I don’t want to go out and do fun activities alone too - this was exactly what I needed to read now :’) so beautifully said

Expand full comment
wmd's avatar

LOVE this made me feel amazing warm things :) love this

Expand full comment
alice's avatar

Gunna date myself tonight with a bottle of wine and read through your substack archive.

Expand full comment
Marlee's avatar

everything you write is brilliant - you truly know how to finish a piece with a gut punch

Expand full comment
Sodak's avatar

Loved this, Eliza. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with the world...

Expand full comment