this is so beautiful and so deeply meaningful to my experience rn. religion and devotion and faith and family have existed far longer than the words we assigned to represent their meanings, or the discourse about them. i’m finding such great beauty and significance in understanding the gravity of religion, the way roads can lead to lives that have the aesthetics of tradition yet an impossibly beautiful and complex meaning and impact. also really relate to the part about thinking about yourself so much you get sick. thank you for this resonant and compelling writing eliza <3.
As an ex-Catholic who has also distanced herself from her family, I have been coming to terms with a lot of what you wrote in this piece. This was so cohesive, impactful, and just beautifully written. Thank you for making sense of thoughts that have, for too long, been jumbled in my mind. I have been disconnected from myself for a while now and this, I think, has given me a starting point on a path back to myself. So much love and admiration for you, from a fellow binchette with so many capricorn placements.
really great piece 🤍 i’ve been thinking a lot about catholicism as well. it unnerves me to know how much violence has been executed by the catholic church, but something calls me to the spirituality of it all the same. i went to a psych ward at a catholic hospital for a week and after the first day i prayed in their little chapel, and it brought up a lot of things for me that i wasn’t expecting. i totally understood what your cousin said about how young people coming to catholicism want the “high service” because of how traditional and structured it is, that really makes sense to me. i think that as a 20something my life is isolated and mundane; having a religious service that has such a heightened sense of importance for the act--worshipping God--is something a lot of people are craving. we’re all looking for a place in the world, we’re all looking for a connection to others that makes us feel like we’re part of something. if religion can provide that for people then it can be a really good thing.
i loved reading this. a few weeks ago i went to church for the first time in years with my mom. it was an 8am mass on my late grandfather’s birthday. it was wild how easily i fell into the rhythms. afterward, my mom--who has never pressured me about religion--just said she especially liked going to church as a kind of recentering. an hour to think about being a better, kinder, more patient person. i find myself generally apathetic toward organized religion & have particular beef with the capital C Catholic Church for the Usual Reasons ... but wow, did going to mass with my mom feel good. community, ritual, cog in a machine (in a good way), etc... much to ruminate on. thanks for writing and sharing
Beautiful piece, I love how you wrote this! Such a wonderfully narrated piece juxtaposing a chronically online self-focused culture with trad small town, God-fearing one. As a young person who both believes in God and is very online—i’ve found myself teetering the line of what to put my faith into, but the emptiness of placing my hope in the world always reminds me of the power of God. I think spirituality is something everyone should explore more!
lapsed evangelical who went home this december to find that maybe i do believe in God. just not the American God of wealth and greed that my parents worship.
Lovely read Eliza, it made me tear up. Also believing in something is absolutely based. I personally meditate a lot, and am going to start following A Course in Miracles January 1. I had a Mormon friend tell me “everyone should believe in something, even if that something is just believing in yourself” which sounds kinda corny reading it, but it’s true, especially since we are all God in a sense, the universe experiencing itself yanno? Thank you always for your vulnerability 💜
i first read this months ago. i’ve come back to it multiple times, and i’ll admit i’ve teared up every time. i grew up catholic, going to mass every sunday and i’ve been in catholic school my whole life. it’s a privilege to say that. there’s also a lot of trauma there. but under it there’s some beauty aching to be acknowledged. maybe that’s why i adore stained glass, because it’s gorgeous and i can quite literally see the bright colors with light shining through. just today as i wrote my college theology reflection about dorothy day, i remembered this again. “there’s something beautiful about devotion,” truly. i’m in awe of your ability to find this beauty, eliza. thank you 🧡
It’s amazing how many people resonate with the experiences you describe here but yet we all feel so alone in our troubles. This essay comforted me to know that I am far from alone in my search for identity and meaning.
Amazing writing as always. I commented this on the Binchtopia Patreon yesterday in response to a listener email, but I highly recommend the book “journey of souls” if you haven’t read it. It made me think a lot about our purpose on earth and as an agnostic-leaning-toward-atheist person who finds a lot of organized religions problematic it made me think about “higher power” without connection to any one specific religion. Totally respect that church is great for community and tradition and obviously the book doesn’t address that aspect, but may make you think more about your place in the world.
this is so beautiful and so deeply meaningful to my experience rn. religion and devotion and faith and family have existed far longer than the words we assigned to represent their meanings, or the discourse about them. i’m finding such great beauty and significance in understanding the gravity of religion, the way roads can lead to lives that have the aesthetics of tradition yet an impossibly beautiful and complex meaning and impact. also really relate to the part about thinking about yourself so much you get sick. thank you for this resonant and compelling writing eliza <3.
As an ex-Catholic who has also distanced herself from her family, I have been coming to terms with a lot of what you wrote in this piece. This was so cohesive, impactful, and just beautifully written. Thank you for making sense of thoughts that have, for too long, been jumbled in my mind. I have been disconnected from myself for a while now and this, I think, has given me a starting point on a path back to myself. So much love and admiration for you, from a fellow binchette with so many capricorn placements.
really great piece 🤍 i’ve been thinking a lot about catholicism as well. it unnerves me to know how much violence has been executed by the catholic church, but something calls me to the spirituality of it all the same. i went to a psych ward at a catholic hospital for a week and after the first day i prayed in their little chapel, and it brought up a lot of things for me that i wasn’t expecting. i totally understood what your cousin said about how young people coming to catholicism want the “high service” because of how traditional and structured it is, that really makes sense to me. i think that as a 20something my life is isolated and mundane; having a religious service that has such a heightened sense of importance for the act--worshipping God--is something a lot of people are craving. we’re all looking for a place in the world, we’re all looking for a connection to others that makes us feel like we’re part of something. if religion can provide that for people then it can be a really good thing.
i loved reading this. a few weeks ago i went to church for the first time in years with my mom. it was an 8am mass on my late grandfather’s birthday. it was wild how easily i fell into the rhythms. afterward, my mom--who has never pressured me about religion--just said she especially liked going to church as a kind of recentering. an hour to think about being a better, kinder, more patient person. i find myself generally apathetic toward organized religion & have particular beef with the capital C Catholic Church for the Usual Reasons ... but wow, did going to mass with my mom feel good. community, ritual, cog in a machine (in a good way), etc... much to ruminate on. thanks for writing and sharing
Beautiful piece, I love how you wrote this! Such a wonderfully narrated piece juxtaposing a chronically online self-focused culture with trad small town, God-fearing one. As a young person who both believes in God and is very online—i’ve found myself teetering the line of what to put my faith into, but the emptiness of placing my hope in the world always reminds me of the power of God. I think spirituality is something everyone should explore more!
lapsed evangelical who went home this december to find that maybe i do believe in God. just not the American God of wealth and greed that my parents worship.
Lovely read Eliza, it made me tear up. Also believing in something is absolutely based. I personally meditate a lot, and am going to start following A Course in Miracles January 1. I had a Mormon friend tell me “everyone should believe in something, even if that something is just believing in yourself” which sounds kinda corny reading it, but it’s true, especially since we are all God in a sense, the universe experiencing itself yanno? Thank you always for your vulnerability 💜
i first read this months ago. i’ve come back to it multiple times, and i’ll admit i’ve teared up every time. i grew up catholic, going to mass every sunday and i’ve been in catholic school my whole life. it’s a privilege to say that. there’s also a lot of trauma there. but under it there’s some beauty aching to be acknowledged. maybe that’s why i adore stained glass, because it’s gorgeous and i can quite literally see the bright colors with light shining through. just today as i wrote my college theology reflection about dorothy day, i remembered this again. “there’s something beautiful about devotion,” truly. i’m in awe of your ability to find this beauty, eliza. thank you 🧡
omgg i love this is exactly what my inner monologe sounds like. such a talented writer too!!
hi from wv - glad you could feel the almost heaven a bit deeply :)
This is such a fantastic piece of writing! Thank you!
loved this 💗 there’s another great awakening on the horizon
It’s amazing how many people resonate with the experiences you describe here but yet we all feel so alone in our troubles. This essay comforted me to know that I am far from alone in my search for identity and meaning.
Amazing writing as always. I commented this on the Binchtopia Patreon yesterday in response to a listener email, but I highly recommend the book “journey of souls” if you haven’t read it. It made me think a lot about our purpose on earth and as an agnostic-leaning-toward-atheist person who finds a lot of organized religions problematic it made me think about “higher power” without connection to any one specific religion. Totally respect that church is great for community and tradition and obviously the book doesn’t address that aspect, but may make you think more about your place in the world.
eliza. i needed this. thanks queen.
As someone who grew up Catholic but doesn't believe in God anymore, this was beautiful.